2025 Week 4: You don’t Need numbers
You know when you encounter a person you thought had gone extinct? Not a specific individual, but a personality type. A character whose model was discontinued years ago, and though they still may exist in pop culture, real-world interactions with them have effectively ceased. Think of the cold-call salesman trying to get you to switch phone companies or the guy with a mall kiosk trying to sell you remote control helicopters.
We don’t make those people anymore.
Another disappearing species- or so I thought- is someone I like to call The Blue Collar Condescender. This is the contractor who comes to your home and spends half the time telling you all the things that were done wrong. It’s the tree removal guy who has notes on your lawn care, or the guy fixing a car window who points out the paint hasn’t been waxed enough.
These are the characters who treat their expertise as something to be weaponized, not shared. You will know them by their attitude, and how often they ask questions using a vocabulary they know you don’t understand to make you feel inadequate.
They are not helping you; they are socially engineering you. The dumber you feel, the more helpless you become, the more likely you are to say yes to them, the person who “knows what they are doing.” Let them help you out. Just sign on the dotted and they will take care of everything.
They don’t have to be doing blue-collar work, necessarily, just blue-collar-adjacent. For example, car salesmen used to be the kings of this, but things like Carvana and online price comparisons made that approach to sales largely untenable.
I also really and truly believe Justin played a sizeable role in ending the behavior when he had to buy a car while visiting me in St. Louis nearly 10 years ago.
A brief sidebar:
You know that scene in movies or shows where the audience knows what the main character is capable of, but the person in the scene with them doesn’t? That moment when some unlikable character decides to pick a fight- verbal or physical- because up to that point, they had never encountered anyone who could defeat them . Then the music drops, and the camera pushes in on our hero, and we get that little rush of endorphines because we know someone we don’t like is about to get their whole world rearranged? I got to experience that in real life when Justin had to buy a car.
If your only real understanding of Justin as a person comes from these writeups, allow me to paint a more complete picture. Yes, his doomed love affair with a moribund football team leads him into comic misadventures in fantasy football, but in real life, he is an extremely smart, extremely organized human being with willpower that I would say borders on supernatural. His gift is that once he decides something, the list of possible outcomes immediately shrinks to: 1. That thing ends up happening, or 2. Justin dies.
This applies to anything as inconsequential as learning all the lyrics to a Twista song to something as significant as him performing a major home renovation. If he decides a thing needs to be a certain way, he will make it be that way or die trying. You’ll notice that Justin is still here, which should tell you everything you need to know.
So imagine my delight when I dropped him off at a car dealership and saw the first salesman lock eyes on him. That person woke up that morning having spent every previous workday in complete control of their environment. They believed today would be the same, and the next, and the next.
And then Justin informed them that he had an exact number he would pay for a car, and would not leave the lot with a car unless the number on the contract matched the number he provided them. And then the salesperson almost certainly believed they were in charge, because every customer says that, but eventually they give up because trim packages, and paint finishes, and taxes, and transfer fees, and any other thing the dealership can throw at them wear away their willpower until they finally say “close enough” and sign on the dotted line.
But then the music dropped. And the camera pushed in on our hero’s face.
Justin stayed at the dealership for HOURS. Each time they placed a stack of paper in front of him, he reviewed every word on every page, and then made them amend and print an entirely new document each time he found a line item he did not agree to pay for. You see, the number on that piece of paper was going to be Justin’s number, or Justin was going to die in that chair from malnutrition. At some point, the dealership must have realized they’d better get the number correct or they may never see their families again, and Justin had himself a new car. When he left the dealership, those people must have felt like they’d been freed from prison. I think they told every peer of theirs in the Midwest about him. I believe Justin became the car dealership Baba Yaga and changed the behavior of an entire industry.)
Back to our larger point.
Car mechanics held out for a very long time, and while they still have a few of the cartoonishly manipulative amongst their ranks, their huckster empire is a shadow of what it once was. Most mechanics these days play for volume, and don’t have time to bullshit you into an extra $500. Of the three I’ve used around me, all independently-owned (which used to be a stronghold of Blue Collar Condescender mechanics), none of them have even bothered with the half-lecture/half-concern-trolling speech. They don’t so much as twitch if you tell them it’s been 5,000 miles since an oil change or that you can’t remember when you changed your air filter. They just ask what services you want to pay for, tell you the corresponding costs (all of which are within 10 percent of the other shops), and tell you when it’ll be ready.
I had begun to believe The BCC was extinct; buried next to the guys selling “premium” HDMI cords and hot checkout girls who manipulate college kids into opening store credit cards.
But The BCC, while diminished in power, is not a dead species. Much like the dinosaurs and Isla Nublar, they have found a sanctuary: Small Engine Repair.
The setup of this story is that my parents own a power washer, and every few years or so, they used to bring it out and blast the deck so they could update the stain and re-seal it. My mom handled this, but obviously she can no longer do it, my dad enlisted me. So when I was home helping him, I fired up the power washer, and after a couple minutes, it died. I tried to start it, and no matter how I pulled, the engine wasn’t having it. I made sure it had gas, and just in case it was low on oil, I added some of that to it. No effect. So, we called a small engine place and took it over there.
They had a big showroom of mowers and blowers and tractors and shit, and then a big garage in back. The moment the guy came around the counter into the showroom, my spidey sense tingled. He had an air about him. A stride that was a swagger with a dash of trudge. As though he were a conquering hero, but being forced to do a press junket. The second he clocked our age gap, his whole vibe became that of a man who couldn’t wait to hear how stupid THIS guy is.
I explained the situation, and this is the exchange that followed.
“How old is the gas in it?”
“I don’t know. Like I said, it belongs to my parents. I know that any gas they had would have had fuel stabilizer in it. I just put some in to make sure the tank wasn’t dry.”
“Stabilizer doesn’t help.”
It was at this point that I looked to the GIANT shelf directly behind his left shoulder in the showroom that was full of fuel stabilizer, and the sign that said “buy now to protect your engine.” I stared at this long enough that I was sure he would acknowledge the absurdity of his saying fuel stabilizer is useless while standing in front of his shop’s giant display urging customers to purchase it, but he just stared at me as though if I didn’t respond to “stabilizer doesn’t help,” that would be the end of the conversation.
“Ok. Well it’s what was there. I don’t know how old the gas was, maybe 3-4 months?”
At this point, he unleashed a heavy sigh, coupled with him closing his eyes. The same way you’d react if someone told you, “I spent all of my family’s savings on a NFT of Badger Badger Badger.”
"Well,” and then his tone got very serious and VERY annoyed, “That’s not good.”
Internally, I screamed Motherfucker, it’s not some guy I put the wrong organ into. It’s a power washer I don’t own, filled with gas I didn’t buy. Just tell me if you can fix it or not. We don’t need to do all this.
Externally, I couldn’t do anything. I just stood there. I couldn’t open my mouth and risk it, but nothing I could think to do with my body seemed adequate. It’s at this point that I was reminded of the fact that I am standing in his shop looking to pay him money. I called ahead about a problem. I didn’t show up here looking to demonstrate how well the machine was working. This wasn’t something sprung on him.
But that is The BCC playbook right there. Get me feeling that there’s a much bigger problem at play and that problem is primarily, if not entirely, my fault, and then charge me whatever he wants because I’m paying to fix MY mistake.
And so I lied.
“Ya know they did mention they had the starter replaced a while back.” (lie). “I wonder if somebody put a refurb (LINGO) part in there, think that could be the problem?”
See what I did there? I foisted the blame onto another (fictional) party, and deferred to this guy’s vastly superior knowledge and skill. Plus, this gives him the window to blame someone else, and look like a good guy by not overcharging me for their shoddy workmanship. That, in turn, establishes trust and sets me up for an even bigger grift down the line as a repeat customer.
“Well, you can’t ever know. Let me get in back and take a look, then I’ll give you an estimate once I know what we’re dealing with.”
Ok, Dr. House. You go diagnose the problem. I’ll wait here.
15 minutes later, he comes out to get me. Wouldn’t you know it? It was the starter! Had some corrosion, he said. Must have happened because the other guy didn’t seal it right when he installed it. Huh. Crazy.
And the best part? He was only going to charge me the part cost. $18 and we are square. What a guy. I left that place and returned to St. Louis, never to see that man again. I still have no idea what was wrong with that power washer. But I know for a fact it wasn’t the starter.
Power Rankings
| Team | Rank | Change |
|---|---|---|
| Kyle Luke | #1 | --- |
| Steve Keers | #2 | --- |
| Ryan Munson | #3 | ↑2 |
| JJ Bailey | #4 | ↓-1 |
| Will Armistead | #5 | ↓-1 |
| Micah Thoman | #6 | ↑1 |
| Andrew DeWitt | #7 | ↓-1 |
| Andres Santana | #8 | ↑2 |
| Dan Resnick | #9 | ↓-1 |
| Justin Childs | #10 | ↓-1 |
| Lee Morehouse | #11 | --- |
| Jimmy Slater | #12 | --- |
Observation: Steve and Kyle are 35-9 and 34-10, respectively, in All Play this season. They have scored roughly the same amount of points, but Steve’s opponents have scored 130 points more than Kyle’s.
Strength of Schedule
| Team | Rank | Change |
|---|---|---|
| Steve Keers | #1 | --- |
| Justin Childs | #2 | ↑4 |
| Micah Thoman | #3 | --- |
| Andres Santana | #4 | ↓-2 |
| Andrew DeWitt | #5 | ↑2 |
| Jimmy Slater | #6 | ↑2 |
| Ryan Munson | #7 | ↓-3 |
| JJ Bailey | #8 | ↑2 |
| Will Armistead | #9 | ↓-4 |
| Lee Morehouse | #10 | ↑1 |
| Dan Resnick | #11 | ↑1 |
| Kyle Luke | #12 | ↓-3 |
Playoff Odds*
*This is now functioning, but I am working on getting the model to account more specifically for division opponents
| Team | Odds |
|---|---|
| Kyle Luke | 89% |
| Steve Keers | 86% |
| JJ Bailey | 83% |
| Will Armistead | 63% |
| Ryan Munson | 58% |
| Dan Resnick | 51% |
| Micah Thoman | 45% |
| Andrew DeWitt | 41% |
| Lee Morehouse | 40% |
| Andres Santana | 19% |
| Justin Childs | 15% |
| Jimmy Slater | 10% |
THE
GAMES
THE GAMES
Micah Vs. DeWitt (140.5-132)
It’s great for DeWitt that Romeo Doubs scored three touchdowns, it really is. Three touchdowns is always terrific, especially when it’s from a player who is not typically considered the first-read type. The thing about that is, guys like Doubs only have so many touchdowns in them per season. They are not critical to NFL offenses, and so their touchdowns tend to be ones of convenience rather than design. For example, Doubs’ banner year was 2023, when he caught eight. His other two seasons were totals of three scores and four scores. Even in 2023, he only had 674 yards to go with those touchdowns.
For players like Doubs, a three-touchdown game is always bittersweet. It usually wins you a week, but it also signals the absolute high point of their season. Even if this campaign matches his career single-season high, he’s used up half of his scores already and three of those were this week. The Packers also don’t really do double-digit touchdowns for anyone but Josh Jacobs. Since Adams left, the receiving TD leaders have been:
2022- Christian Watson: 7
2023- Romeo Doubs: 8
2024- Tucker Kraft: 7
2025- Currently Doubs with 4
Early in the year, our Daniel maintained that it’s because the Packers simply have too many GREAT wide receivers, and thus Jordan Love can and does target anyone, secure in the knowledge he is throwing to a future Hall of Famer. The reality is that they have a lot of WR2s and WR3s, and none of them are good enough to be the Big Dog. Top WRs score so much because defenses can’t neutralize them, no matter what they try. No one on the Packers is anything close to matchup-proof, so whoever wins on a particular play gets the target (and maybe the TD).
Perhaps the sheer lack of functional bodies in the wide receiver room will make Doubs The Guy by default, but Golden is clearly going to be pretty good, Wicks is still kicking around, Kraft is a reliable target, and we just saw Josh Jacobs lead the team in receiving yards against the Cowboys. Those are problems before Christian Watson returns.
If you’re holding Doubs stock, it’s about 8:45 AM on October 17, 1987. You'd better be on the phone when the markets open.
Woody Marks had a great week, though it was against the Titans, and apparently something bad is going on in Houston:
Whenever a bona fide “insider” (and Russini certainly is that) says something like “There are some things going on behind the scenes that I think we are going to find out about soon,” that translates to: “Holy shit, I can’t wait until I’m allowed to publish the stuff I found out.”
Maybe that’ll be good for Marks! Probably not, though.
The rest of DeWitt’s team breaks down into two groups:
Group 1. Christian McCaffrey
Group 2. A collection of players made entirely out of a “This Week’s Best Waiver Wire Flyers” article.
It’s a whole crew of dudes that are in the “if you’re desperate” section of the grocery store.
Micah was having a real tough go of it. He even changed his team name to I Suck, which is usually a sign of surrender for him. Then, he actually surrendered, doing his extremely tired but foolproof routine of declaring his defeat while the outcome is still uncertain, and then aw-shucksing when he wins, which he always, always does. But it came at a cost, since Tyreek Hill’s knee is now omnidirectional, making Micah’s receiving corps one guy recovering from a julienned ankle and another in the midst of a psychological meltdown.
But who cares about that? Micah loves himself some new hotness, and the Giants unleashed the newest hotness of them all Sunday. Now he’s 3-5 and has a Quarterback of the Future. AS IT WAS WRITTEN
Will vs. Lee (148.1-114)
I can finally revisit my take that the Bears should have moved up in the draft to take Ashton Jeanty. I know everyone went to Armchair GM Academy or whatever, and can’t wait to talk about how picks are precious and trading up hurts your ability to draft guys in your areas of need and blah blah blah. Yep, all of that is true. What’s also true is that with their first two picks, the Bears took a TE they haven’t used and a WR they haven’t used. Given all the “areas of need,” you would think maybe one of those two picks would have been spent on something else. If not a different player, then perhaps as part of a trade to get a potentially generational running back, since running back was certainly one of those “areas of need.”
Loveland and Burden could both be great down the line, but the Bears are not using them at all currently, and they would DEFINITELY be using Jeanty. You can feel how rad that offense could be with a legitimate threat in the backfield, and you can feel how badly Jeanty wants to have a real offensive line. People have soured on RBs, but the whole “running backs don’t matter” thing only works until you see one who does matter. Then you want one for yourself. Will was willing to pay up for the necessary talent, and now he reaps the benefits. Another loss for Ryan Poles.
Also, here’s a thing I learned: Did you know Chip Kelly made Jeanty change the way he stood pre-snap? In college, he did the Jahmyr Gibbs thing where he stands straight up and down like a serial killer. Once you notice it, it looks REALLY fuckin weird compared to all the other stances in the league.
I’m too lazy to find a picture where it’s more pronounced, but you can see in Week 2 (left) he was starting plays with his hands on his knees, usually even more hunched forward than that. On the right, this week, he was doing his weird Michael Myers thing again. You notice it more in video:
Apparently, Chip Kelly looked at the guy who nearly broke Barry Sanders’ single-season rushing record, who the team drafted sixth overall, and decided to fundamentally change something about his approach. For three weeks, Jeanty did something completely different before the snap than he had his entire career because Chip fuckin Kelly thought the first thing was weird. Then he said, “fuck all that,” and went back to standing upright. Turns out, the best running back prospect since Saquon Barkley knows what works best for himself. Who would have guessed?
Also paying off for Will is the Quinshon Judkins Gambit, as he is now the first, second, and only entertaining thing in Cleveland. That gives Willy three quality running backs out of fucking NOWHERE. In my mind, Travis Etienne has had two good weeks and two shitty ones. In reality, he’s been super reliable. He’s averaging 17.4 points a week, and the totals are 19.1, 16, 11.6, and 23. The 11.6 came against the Houston run defense. That’s a Top 10 running back in both output and consistency!
So he has three RB1s in NFL roster terms, all of whom could put up Fantasy RB1 numbers every week. He also has Tony Pollard and Isaiah Pacheco, who have not mattered much, but are nice to have as seat fillers for when those other guys need to use the restroom.
At wideout, Will has a wide array of McConkeys that are priced to move.
If the original model McConkey doesn’t get your engine revving, no worries! New inventory rolled off the line this season, and Will is proud to say he’s the only one who has them in the showroom.
Over here, you see there’s the Philadelphia McConkey (DeVonta Smith), and behind that, there’s the New England McConkey (Stefon Diggs), and if you walk right this way, you can get a look at the Las Vegas McConkey (Jakobi Meyers).
Now he doesn’t have it in stock right now, but Will promises you’ll be the first call once the Washington McConkey (Deebo Samuel) hits the market. Expect that right around the time Terry McLaurin returns to action.
As for Lee, I’m not entirely certain what to make of his team. Are you?
Lee, why don’t you walk us through the dish.
There’s a lot of stuff that should taste good together, but once it all gets in the pot, the ingredients turn on one another. It appeared we were in for a bumper crop of Chuba Hubbard and Alvin Kamara this harvest, but apparently their window of edibility is about half as long as an avocado. Now, Lee has a bowl full of rapidly-spoiling goods, and there’s no version of “just make a bunch of guacamole” for NFL running backs.
The David Njoku he picked up from the market didn’t have any seeds, so there’s absolutely no spice added there, and apparently there’s a nationwide TreVeyon Henderson shortage so Lee can’t get enough of it to make a difference. If Lamar Jackson is out for any amount of time, the meal has no protein. That leaves Quinton Johnston, which is a fine ingredient, but you can’t make a whole dinner out of red peppers. You need something else.
The Brian Thomas Jr. refuses to ripen, the Mike Evans is past its expiration date, and the only Garrett Wilson available to use is the stuff from New York, which is the wrong climate to grow that in. I guess the best plan is to hope sprinkling Rashee Rice over everything will give it enough cohesion to be passable, but even then, this entree is way less than the sum of its parts.
And then Lee says something like, “I just couldn’t make the basket work. Thank you, chefs.”
Steve Vs. JJ (170.5-133.3)
Sometimes, fantasy football likes to take its time with you, like a cat batting around a mouse. It makes you feel powerless, but spares your life enough times that you drop your emotional guard. It seasons you with dashes of hope; a long TD here, a miracle interception there, a garbage time surge to round out the flavor profile. Like the mouse, you begin to wonder if your tormentor has gotten bored, and you may, in fact, survive. That is when you are cured to perfection, and that is when it eats you.
But other times, the cat is hungry and doesn’t have time fuck about with herbs and spices. This week, fantasy football snatched my ass out of the tall grass and swallowed me in one bite. The Bad Vibes Express left the station at the earliest possible departure time, quickly reached top speed, and proceeded to run me the fuck over. Trey Benson barely earned a participation ribbon Thursday, Jaylen Warren called off work just before his shift started (and before anyone was awake to notice), Justin Herbert’s mask slipped off, revealing he was Drew Lock all along, and Malik Nabers is done for the year. Perhaps George Pickens will continue to thrive in the very situation that was too much for CeeDee Lamb last year.
I am now down to one good player, whom I have to trade. But you know who won’t get him? Steve! Unlucky bastard would have been my first call, but since we are in the same division, he cannot have him. Tough break, bud. Feel free to court me for Dallas Goedert, though. He is very much on the block.
Now that Michael Penix Jr. remembers where he is, Drake London is useful again. This is a massive reversal of fortune for Steve, who just doubled his number of startable receivers. Given that the Bills are immune to down weeks and Javonte Williams refuses to acknowledge the reality of his own talent, I’d say the London development plops Steve firmly in the driver’s seat with roughly a quarter of the season in the books. Super happy for him. Love to see the rich get richer.
But before he enjoys a runaway division win, he has to spend one more week tied with me. Because the Packers and Cowboys both gave up on defense, I got enough points to sneak into the top six, making my record 6-2, the same as Steve’s.
Andres vs. Dan (129.7-116.2)
Andres’s team approached this game with the same energy as a high school student who needs a D on a test to graduate. As soon as Bijan Robinson and the Texans got the requisite points to beat Daniel, Andres A-B-A-C-A-D-A-ed the rest of that shit and kept it moving. He was still half-assedly scribbling in the bubbles on his way to hand it in.
At the start of the afternoon games, he had 104.1 points, and 57.1 of those were two roster slots. Kyler Murray also contributed 16.1, but he really shouldn’t get credit for any of those. Can we talk about Kyler for a second? What is his fucking problem? Micah harbors a belief that Murray is secretly 5’5 and the whole world is covering it up, and I briefly looked into that possibility. Numerous photos seem to indicate he’s actually 5’9 and not 5’10, but I could find none showing his whole body next to someone whose height we know for certain. Of course, the Cardinals are not helping themselves by putting shit like this on the internet:
Come on, man. Either that isn’t a regulation-sized football, or the comms team needs to take a second look at stuff before hitting “send.”
The problem is not just that Kyler’s short, but that he's also got the body proportions of a tall dwarf, which makes him look even smaller. He looks like an overgrown toddler, tottering around with short limbs, small hands, and a big head. The whole thing is strange and contributes to the feeling that he is not designed for NFL work.
I think he just hates his fucking job. Think about it: Have you ever seen Kyler Murray smile on a football field because of something that happened in the game? You have not. He plays football because he’s paid a lot of money to do so, and because, as a world-class athlete, he would be bored if he didn’t, but I think he wonders about baseball every day. You’ve all been around a coworker who has emotionally checked out. They won’t quit, and they may not be actively disruptive, but you can feel that the joy is gone forever. They will never return to a state where they don’t hate coming to that place every day. It’s palpable. The spark has gone out. I think that’s what it’s like to be around Kyler in Arizona. He’s fine at his job, but he’s never going to care enough to be better than that.
Anyway, Daniel offered up almost nothing in the way of resistance. His only noteworthy performance happened in the Ireland game, at a time of day when the only Americans awake to see it were still up from the night before and thus too drunk to remember it anyway. By the time the rest of us got around to watching football, DK Metcalf’s heroics were a distant memory.
I guess Jordan Love counts, but it was against Dallas. I’d argue it’s far more noteworthy if a QB doesn’t put up 25-plus against them. But I guess we can celebrate it, since this was the first week this season Jordan Love outscored Brock Purdy or Brock Purdy backup Mac Jones.
Also, since I have nowhere else to put this: Daniel, did you see Jerry Jones’s comments after the game?
On the one hand, that’s very funny because every Cowboy fan had to die a little inside hearing that. Nothing like watching an owner take the absolute wrong lesson from their colossal fuck-up, thus emboldening them to do more dumb shit. On the other hand… he’s kinda right? After all that, the Packers are 2-1-1, and not only couldn’t beat the Cowboys, but actually did WORSE at getting after Dak than Dallas did getting after Love. Both teams had one sack, but the Cowboys had a better pressure rate and gave Love less time to throw than Dak had.
So I guess neither fanbase should feel all that good about what Jerry said.
Kyle Vs. Jimmy (160.6-88.4)
There’s nothing really to say here, is there? Everything about this went exactly the way you’d expect it to, except Bucky Irving got lucky with a long receiving TD, so he had 31 instead of 17. Everything else? Right on schedule. I know they’ll keep projecting A.J. Brown for 13-17 points a week, but if you’re still buying that, I have a Dallas Goedert to sell you. No, Brown is gonna do this the rest of the year. Sure, he’ll come up with 2-3 more big games to eventually finish in the top 12 at WR, but these non-factor appearances are going to be the majority of his resume. Shame, because he’s super awesome when he’s part of an entertaining offense. Instead, he has games like this where he gets seven yards on nine targets.
Kyle just barely managed to deploy the correct half of his Seattle tandem, but that will likely get harder in the future. People are starting to catch on to the fact Walker might be too dumb to be a long-term thing, and Charbonnet could end up getting most of the work simply by being the only member of the backfield who runs in the correct direction. Also, I know Kyle has Lawrence on the roster because Dak has no blockers and one guy to throw to, but it’s still funny to see him there. What a fall for that guy, huh? Remember when people very seriously wanted to change the NCAA rules to allow players to go pro sooner because of him? “Trevor Lawrence is ready for the NFL right now. Who cares if he’s only played one year? They do it for the NBA! ”
I mean, they might have been right, since he hasn’t gotten any better since then but IS an NFL quarterback. But man. People REALLY thought he was gonna be the next GOAT. What they got was another Carr brother, but one who looks like a wood carving of a person. When Trevor Lawrence puts on a hat, he looks like Jar Jar Binks trying to lose the cops in a crowd. God I love that he’s a bust.
Munson vs. Justin (175.5-125.5)
I said a lot of very nice things up there about Justin, so I’ll keep that rolling by pointing out I made fun of him for keeping two defenses while dropping Skattebo, but wouldn’t you know it? The Steelers defense came in handy! They outperformed the Packers defense by 17 points! Now, that did not matter in the least in terms of winning and losing, but it was proof that Justin’s schemes sometimes pay off. Perhaps I was too quick to judge.
When one makes that kind of correct call, and one also gets a top-5 fantasy QB performance from Patrick Mahomes, one should be well on one’s way to victory, or at least a top-six score. But the car is driving with two flat tires, and the pit crew is insisting they don’t see any problem.
Rome Odunze is a winning fantasy ticket. Justin drafted him for $20 and he’s the WR5. That’s great! But Odunze also stole DJ Moore’s job right in front of us. Justin kept him for $0, which would be a good deal, but he’s the WR 47 and averaging four catches and 45 yards per game. Since the bye is upon us, that makes 5 weeks where Moore has not been a startable player. Yet he remains there as Flat Tire Number 1. D’Andre Swift, running back for the Chicago Bears, is Flat Tire Number 2. He turned an 8 into a 14 thanks to a last-second TD, but you know in your heart of hearts he’s not the guy. He’s scored twice this season, and the results in those games are barely distinguishable from the ones where he didn’t.
Justin, that sound you hear is rims grinding against the pavement. You must do something. You can no longer pretend otherwise. Look at the sparks. Listen to the scream of shearing metal. Please, man. Get new tires.
Munson has enough shares of the Lions to get by most weeks, and when Justin Jefferson has a semi-accurate quarterback and De’Von Achane plays bad teams, he’ll end up winning more often than not. But that’s not why I am here. I am here for one thing and one thing only.
🤡Bo Nix’s Blunder Bonanza🤡
Did Bo Nix do something good this week?
Boy, he sure did! Our little buddy had himself a day. He threw for more than 300 yards! His passer rating almost reached 100 like a big boy! He had himself a three-touchdown day, which was great for fantasy football!
Is there a “but”?
What kind of question is that? This is Bo Chapman Nix we’re talking about. His whole career is “but….”
Sigh. Ok, let’s have it.
Well, once again, he fucked up some deep passes that could have been touchdowns. He went 1-for-3 on his long throws, the most egregious miss being this one:
That’s clearly on Troy Franklin. Hit him in the hands!
I know! Seems that way, doesn’t it?
Ugh. But?
But…..:
Did you see it? That’s a Bo Nix special right there. ENHANCE
You can already see it, can’t you? Franklin has both those guys beat, but Nix’s little body couldn’t get enough on the ball. It needs to be out in front of Franklin, so he can stay at full speed and run under it, leaving the DBs in the dust.
Instead, he has to come back to the ball. Which not only means he’s not only reaching completely behind him while running at full speed, but he’s also staring right at the DB screaming toward him. The same DB who had no chance of catching him until Bo Nix got involved.
Fin.
OK, fine, you got me! Ha-ha-ha, Bo Nix missed a deep ball. If that’s the worst he did, this bit has run its course.
Totally agree. If that was the worst thing I saw, this bit would indeed be over.
…….
…….
…….
…..but
FUCK
Tough angle to judge, maybe Bo Nix saw a window here that isn’t clear from that video.
Nope! See you next week!
